Josh Sway
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December 13, 2013 / Stop Misinterpreting "Outcome Independence"

Hey there,

You have probably heard the phrase "outcome independence" thrown around. In my opinion, this is a phrase that has been so bastardized it should be thrown out, not thrown around seduction communities and by every dating coach on the planet. The idea is somewhat sound: that you shouldn't let fear of a particular outcome interfere with how you go about achieving the outcome you want, but the idea that you shouldn't care about outcomes (which is mostly how this phrase has been used) makes absolutely no sense at all.

Why would you not care about outcomes? Why would you go out without a goal or a desired outcome in mind if you have a goal? None of that makes any sense at all. You should care about the outcome, and you should be doing things with a plan geared towards getting the outcome you want.

Yes, if you have no goal and are just going out to "have fun" and don't give a shit if you accomplish anything in the way of numbers, makeouts, or women you will be less likely to "fail", but guys, failing is not a bad thing. Getting rejected isn't the end of the world. And that sting that comes with being rejected? As I wrote about on joshsway.com, rejection should sting a little.

So, how should this phrase be used? I prefer the following much more powerful phrase: "Don't doubt yourself or the process because a particular outcome didn't go your way." The true essence of being outcome independent, and the true value of such a statement is to avoid using ineffective technique, injecting tons of self doubt, and behaving in an ineffective manner because you fear a particular outcome. So stop throwing around the vague "outcome independence" phrase that leaves too much room for misinterpretation and start being more precise.

Next time you hear someone mindlessly telling you to "be outcome independent", think about what that actually means and whether or not it makes any sense in the situation.


Play on,

Josh

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