January 02, 2014 / Neediness Is Killing Your Chances
Well time certainly flies. To welcome in 2014 I want to address what is probably the biggest obstacle coming in between you and the woman you want: Neediness. Believe it or not, neediness is the ultimate turn off. Forget about the crap you see at the movies or TV (Read this for the prime example), trying too hard, supplicating, constantly confirming and reconfirming dates, demanding explanations for flakiness, and other needy behaviors are pretty much the least attractive behaviors you can possibly have.
Why is neediness so unattractive?
Neediness is unattractive for two main reasons: the first is Chinese Water Torture. That's right, torture. Chinese Water Torture involves a slow drip of water on a restrained persons' forehead that slowly but surely drives them insane. It seems benign enough, but the constant anticipation of a minor annoyance is highly effective at, well, being highly annoying. Needy behavior acts the same way. The constant supplication, the constant pings "are we still on?", the constant demands for explanations of how her looking at some other guy didn't mean anything all accumulate and take their toll until the woman simply can't take it anymore and will eventually end all contact with you, because unlike a Chinese Water Torture victim, she can just put at end to it herself.
The second main reason neediness is unattractive is that it sends a subliminal message to the woman that she is too good for you. Why else would you be so worried about losing her and so active in trying to please her if she wasn't "too good for you" or "out of your league?" Women pick up on this implication and it will turn them off, because, hey, if she is too good for you, then she can do better than you.
Stop Being Needy
If you fear you may sometimes appear too needy you should do a complete 180 and almost stop caring "on purpose" in order to once and for all break free of the often instinctual needy behavior that is ruining mens' chances with women all over the world, all the time. Blasting neediness is a crucial step that you simply must learn. Err on the side of exaggeration, play it "too cool" if you aren't sure where to draw the line, just don't be needy!
What does it mean "playing it cool" and how do you balance that with aggressiveness? Read our article about it.
Happy New Year,