October 24, 2013 / Basics of busting the Friendzone
You probably know about the dreaded "friendzone". In this letter I want to cover the basics of busting out of the friendzone. Note that the friendzone is a VERY bad place to be with a romantic interest, so while these strategies do work, they are far from 100% effective. Sadly, NOTHING is 100% effective at getting out of the friendzone or even close.
Before going into the basic tips, it is important to understand that in most cases, being "friendzoned" is the equivalent of being rejected. What this means is that, in general, the friendzone is not some 'grey' area in between a rejection and acceptance. Being "friendzoned", for all intensive purposes, is being rejected.
So how do you turn things around when you have been "friendzoned"?
(1) Do not become the friend -- this is very important. You MUST dramatically reduce the amount of interaction you have with this woman or you will most likely just end up with a really bad case of oneitis. (Read about dealing with that here). Neediness as I emphasize time and time again is a major turn off. Continuing to hang around and taking advantage of "Let's just be friends" to be around the girl all the time will only make things WORSE.
(2) If your only interactions were dates and she says "Let's just be friends" (LJBF) -- Cease all communication for at least a few weeks. If you get "LJBF" from a girl you have only been on dates with, it is a rejection. If she just rejected you, she isn't about to do a complete 180 and change her mind right away. Contacting her will only make you appear needy and turn her off even more. I unfortunately know this from experience!
(3) Ease your way back into contact -- After a few weeks of silence, text something funny or amusing that "reminded you" of them. Don't ask them on a date or anything yet. Simply get back into touch this way. If they respond, great, there is hope, but don't get too excited. Play it cool.
(4) Go out with other women and generally act unfazed -- A woman will be much more comfortable interacting with you again if she doesn't feel awkward about "breaking your heart". For this reason and others it is extremely important to act unfazed and continue to enjoy life. Go out with friends and other women. If she sees you out there having fun, it will help your cause.
(5) If you get her out again, escalate -- Make sure you escalate, especially physically (don't be afraid to touch her etc.) You have to establish very clearly that your interest is of a romantic nature.
There is more to dealing with this very difficult situation, but this list should get you started!