December 27, 2013 / A New Year's Resolution Suggestion
Many of you joined this mailing list after downloading my new e-book, Art of Sway: A Handbook to Approaching Women. I'm sure for many of you, this means one of your new resolutions will be to improve your ability to approach and attract women. This is a great goal, but before we enter the new year, I'd like to offer a suggestion: don't be afraid to exceed your goals.
This may sound puzzling to some of you. To many men, approaching women can be confusing, frustrating, or downright terrifying. As a goal, improving at approaching women may seem ambitious enough. Yet here I am telling you that you'll be in a position to not just meet this goal, but exceed it.
And I am telling you this, because I know it will happen. You'll go out at night with a goal of approaching 10 women. You don't expect much, maybe just trying an opener you read in Art of Sway. You'll assume rejection will occur, and just prepare to move on to the next girl. However, instead of being ignored or receiving a cold one word response, you'll see the girl's eyes light up and they engage you back! You didn't expect it, but it happened. So now what?You're setting this goal for yourself -- to improve at approaching and attracting women -- because your real resolution is to date women so you make them your girlfriend and/or have sex with them. So many experts and coaches emphasize small goals such as "approach 10 women", "get 5 numbers", "get a kiss close", etc. that they lose sight of the ultimate goal: to have sex with women and/or make them your girlfriend. This emphasis on smaller, short term goals often causes men to end an interaction with a "moral victory" when a real victory is staring them right in the face! Seriously, many of these goals hardly matter at all.
The answer is simple: keep going!
And remember why you're doing this.
If you're just getting started on your journey, you may feel approaching a woman, flirting with her for 30 minutes, and then getting her number is a victory. Compared to your previous experiences, it may be. But if the opportunity is there to escalate, don't hesitate to take it. She may reject your escalation, but think about it: what if beyond just getting a girl's number, you were able to make out with her, bring her back to your apartment, get her clothes off, but then get rejected when it comes to actual sex? Sure, you got "rejected" at the end, whereas if you wouldn't have been if you simply "quit while you're ahead" after you got her number. But you wouldn't have made nearly as much progress on your real resolution.Look, I get it. Logically, there's really no way to argue with what I am saying, but dating doesn't always follow logic. We've all been there, that situation where we actually get further than we expect only to panic and not know what to do. We get nervous we are going to screw up anything that resembles 'success.' But I'm telling you, improving at approaching and attracting women is more than just getting to the next chapter in whatever seduction book you are reading. That's why I called The Art of Sway a handbook, and not a textbook. It can guide your path, but you should never be afraid to deviate if you think a more successful path lies ahead.
So how should you keep going forward? The keys are to make eye contact, physically escalate (move closer to her, touch her, talk closer to her), isolate, and then CLOSE. Those are just my ways, there are many others. It doesn't matter as much as just GOING FORWARD.
When it comes to dating and seduction, you always strike when the iron is hot. No technique or skill works better than simply engaging a girl who is already interested. Remember that: when it comes to getting women, your best chance of success is with the woman who is already interested in you. So, when she is interested, keep going! And if you always keep this in mind, you'll be sure to have a positive and successful 2014.
Happy New Year,