May 02, 2014 / 6 Commonly Missed IOIs
Here are 6 commonly missed indicators of interest.
It’s a very linear relationship between reading IOIs and having success with women. The more IOIs you can pick up on, the more opportunities you’ll have to confidently escalate with women and take things to the next level.
This is why I’ve discussed IOIs in so many previous articles. First you’ll want to make sure you’re aware of the IOIs you should never be missing, and then you’ll want to look for all the common IOIs that most women will give. Once you’ve developed enough experience identifying those IOIs, you’ll have a good foundation for knowing when your attempts to build attraction with a woman are working.
But there are even more subtle ways a woman can give you IOIs, which are hard to separate from innocuous or habitual behavior. Yet being able to identify these IOIs can really take your game to the next level, because you’ll realize there’s an entire subset of women out there that are attracted to you that you’ve been overlooking this whole time. So I want to talk about subtle IOIs you can easily miss, and probably are missing time and time again.
Since bragging is generally considered poor behavior, you may consider a woman bragging about herself as turn-off and misinterpret it as an annoying negative quality. However, it’s very possible that her bragging is an indicator of interest. Just like you are supposed to "
It’s possible she’s bragging because you’ve been so successful at DHV that she’s basically desperate to try to establish her own value and is worried you’ll lose interest otherwise. So don’t take her bragging as a turn-off, but just an un-elegant way to give you an IOI. Obviously, if she’s endlessly talking about herself, then she’s probably just a self-centered individual. But if you find yourself wondering, "why does she keep mentioning to me she went to an Ivy League college?" then you should take it as an IOI and a good thing.
2. Removing layers
You may think she just removed her jacket because she was hot, but more often than not, removing any layer of clothing is an IOI. Naturally, practical weather conditions apply: if you walked in from 30 degree weather inside into some place where the heat was fired up to 80 degrees, then her removing her jacket is not an IOI. But if she’s wearing a sweater or a scarf and takes it off mid-way through your date, then that definitely is an IOI.
Pay attention to other similar behavior such as moving her hair out of the way of revealing cleavage, exposing her neckline, or exposing her legs. Sometimes, these IOIs mean nothing, but if you notice a pattern of her revealing skin as the night goes on, it’s probably an IOI, even if the reveal is small.
Are you noticing she is agreeing with a lot of what you are saying? While it could be that she coincidentally does agree with all your opinions, a lot of times this is an overlooked IOI. While a woman challenging you isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s an axiom that argument is the opposite of attraction. So she may be extra agreeable because she doesn’t want to risk the conversation segueing into some sort of debate and turning you off.
This doesn’t mean you should go into long-winded monologues about your political beliefs and see if she agrees with all of them. In that case you may find the woman nodding her head at everything you’re saying because she’s bored to death. But in the course of your date you find her saying things like "I never thought about it that way" or "that’s a good point" or "yeah, I totally see what you mean," then you should consider her expressing that agreeability as an IOI.
4. How much effort did she put in?
Now, if you are meeting a girl from the internet for the first time this is not always an effective gauge, but if you met a girl out at a bar and she put in considerable effort for your date a few days later, it is an IOI you should not overlook. It takes women a significant amount of time and effort to get ready for a date, so them putting that time and effort in for you is a positive. However, you may be completely overlooking this IOI because you are only paying attention to how she looks and not paying attention to the effort her appearance involved.
5. Complimenting "negatives"
Complimenting, as I wrote about earlier, is often a misleading indicator of interest. However, I also point out in my article 6 Ways to Gauge Her Interest, that a positive response to self-deprecating humor is often an IOI. It is also a very overlooked one.
In other words: a woman’s compliments don’t often mean much as some women are just like that. However, compliments on "negatives", such as her saying she likes that you used to be a huge nerd in high school, is an IOI that is regularly missed.
6. Letting her guard down
One strong yet often overlooked IOI is her comfort level. There are many overlooked signs of comfort that are not just modest IOIs, but potentially strong IOIs you may be missing. For instance, asking to try your food or drink. This is a surprisingly strong IOI which many men overlook completely. Others include talking about "taboo" topics like sex, and talking about some of her flaws. Yet another includes letting her manners lapse.
Essentially, look for signs that she is letting her guard down in conversation and expressing behavior that she only do with people she was comfortable with. If she’s doing either, it’s usually an IOI.
IOIs are data points, not a checklist
In conjunction with the other articles linked in here, you should have a pretty good general IOI list at your disposal, along with ways to elicit IOIs.
However, dating isn’t a checklist. These articles are here to help you become more attuned at what to look for and build a set of data points to work off of. But there are no rules that exist like, "wait for 3 IOIs before escalating."
Identifying IOIs is essentially collecting data, and hopefully this article and all the others will help you do so. But actually succeeding on dates requires more than collecting data, You’ll still need to rely on your intuition for whether any of these expressed behaviors are actually IOIs, and when you’ve received enough IOIs that you should escalate.