This was one of my earliest discoveries in my journey. This is many reasons why I advise guys to focus on fitness — it’s one of the clearest manifestations of this principle. If you go to the gym several times a week, you’ll get stronger. If you go running several times a week, you’ll get faster and improve your stamina. Record your workouts and your performance, and you’ll quickly see a positive linear relationship between the work you put in and the results you get out of it. Improvement is simply a function of time and effort.
What I realized is that this applies to everything in life. I originally struggled because I focused on achievement, not improvement. I’m sure you’ve heard the cliche, "you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it." The reason why this is an empty cliche are the words "accomplish" and "mind." It implies the entire universe of accomplishment is simply a matter of mental strength, which is clearly false. As I’m sure you realized long before you ever visited this web site, outcomes are sometimes out of your control, and you can’t accomplish everything you want.
But you can improve. You may never be an Olympic marathon runner. But if you put in the effort required to be a marathon runner, over time you will improve. And with enough time, you will be able to complete a 10K, then a half marathon, then a full marathon, and then perhaps even run in marathon races competitively. In doing so you will achieve much more than 99% of anyone else, and your journey will be rewarding because it will be focused on improvement, and not arbitrary objectives at the end.
This is why all the advice JoshSway.com is focused on improvement. I will tell you how to become a better and more attractive man, but I won’t tell you when you’re "better enough" or "attractive enough." You can’t always control outcomes, but you can control your satisfaction with outcomes, and you can control whether you can improve enough until you get the outcome you want. And that is the key to a fulfilling and successful journey to self-improvement.
There is a concept known as "Demonstrating High Value," where men try to prove their worthiness as mates to women. In previous centuries, this was very transparent. Families openly negotiated for their sons and daughters to get married largely on the basis of wealth. Land and gold were valued, so having high amounts of land or gold was therefore demonstrating high value.
Fortunately, in modern society we value more than just sheer wealth (although it certainly doesn’t hurt). Much is written about talking, behaving, or dressing in certain ways to demonstrate value, and this advice can certainly help. But these are simply multiplier effects based on your actual value. What is high value in today’s world? I would argue it’s happiness. Happiness derived from your family, from your education, from your career, from your friends, from your body and health, and everything else we consider important in our lives.
This is why JoshSway.com discusses improvement in all these areas, and not simply techniques to impress women. It’s axiomatic that possessing low value makes it considerably harder to demonstrate high value. Even if you’re unhappy with your job or unhealthy in mind or body, you may still be able to use conversational tricks and various gimmicks to impress a woman at a bar. But think about how much more effective you would be is you were satisfied with those areas of your life! JoshSway.com will show you how to increase your value intrinsically, and then maximize how you demonstrate that value externally.
The advice I give in JoshSway.com is not to arbitrarily increase the number of women you have sex with. This is not a "pickup artist" or "seduction" site. I will discuss many of the strategies that are also mentioned on those sites, and if you follow them, you will be dating and sleeping with more women. But if you are merely learning about these strategies to increase the number of women you sleep with, and focus mainly on increasing that number, then you’re missing the point. You may be winning the game, but do you have any idea why you’re even playing it?
I hear from many men, "I want to date more women, but all that seduction stuff just seems like a bunch of psychological mind games." But why do men want to date more women? Why do they want to attract as many women as possible? So they maximize their chance at attracting the woman they want. Imagine your ideal woman. She is beautiful, and intelligent, and sweet, and respectful, and has all the other qualities you find ideal (since, after all, she’s your ideal woman). By maximizing your ability to attract women, you’re maximizing your chances of finding a woman like her among them. In doing so, you want to present the best version of yourself to her. This is our ‘game,’ and this is why JoshSway.com doesn’t just cover the strategies and techniques you can use to do this, but why they matter. Until you understand why you’re playing the game, you’ll never be able to truly master it.